Marriage Rights - Do We Really Need Them?

I have been involved in numerous conversations related to the Benefits of Marriage. People often ask me why LGBT couples would actually want the right to get married. I suppose to straight people, and maybe to our society in general, marriage seems like a commitment between two people, one accompanied by a piece of paper, which really amounts to not much more than that - a formal commitment and a piece of paper.

And so I suppose the push-back I've heard on the issue of Gay Marriage stems from a lack of understanding of rights provided to couples through the Institution of Marriage.

Afterall, gay and lesbian couples can have a formal commitment ceremony. So what's the big deal about the piece of paper?

Recently someone asked me for a list of the benefits marriage affords to straight couples. In the recesses of my brain, I seemed to remember hearing there were some 100 benefits afforded to married people. After a quick search, I found out I was WAY wrong.

There aren't 100 or so benefits of marriage ....

There are nearly 1500 benefits!!!

In 1996, there were more than a thousand federal laws in which a couple's marital status would provide them with benefits, rights or privileges not accessible to unmarried couples.

Each state provides another 400+ benefits, rights and privileges to married couples.

So can same-sex couples live without marriage benefits? Sure. But it seems a little unfair to reserve those 1500 benefits, rights and privileges just for straight people, don't you think?

Coming out...pregnant

Coming out has never really been an issue for me. Sure there have been times I have hesitated, then wondered if and how it would affect the relationship with the person I just told. For many people, there is always the choice of when to come out, and to whom. I am learning pregnancy adds a whole new dimension to coming out. Whether I want to share my news or not, people will soon notice my pregnancy and start asking questions. What will I say, and how will they react?

Soon the women in my pilates and yoga classes at the YMCA are going to take note and most likely ask me why I have not yet shared my good news. Will they still put my mat out for me before I arrive for class? Will they still refer their children to my clutter and organization workshops?

Soon our 75 and 85 yr. old neighbors are going to wonder about my protruding belly and ask "how did THAT happen?" Will they still call every chance they get to see what our dogs are doing.....to thank us for taking out their trash.....to ask when we are going to bring they pups over again for a visit?

Soon my clients will notice. They may already know I am a lesbian, they may not. What will they ask and how much will I share? Will they join me in my excitement? Or will I lose a client to homophobia?

For anyone in my life who has wondered, but with whom I have never actually "come out," my pregnancy could either strengthen our relationships ~or~ be what breaks it apart. Their choice.