Coming out...pregnant

Coming out has never really been an issue for me. Sure there have been times I have hesitated, then wondered if and how it would affect the relationship with the person I just told. For many people, there is always the choice of when to come out, and to whom. I am learning pregnancy adds a whole new dimension to coming out. Whether I want to share my news or not, people will soon notice my pregnancy and start asking questions. What will I say, and how will they react?

Soon the women in my pilates and yoga classes at the YMCA are going to take note and most likely ask me why I have not yet shared my good news. Will they still put my mat out for me before I arrive for class? Will they still refer their children to my clutter and organization workshops?

Soon our 75 and 85 yr. old neighbors are going to wonder about my protruding belly and ask "how did THAT happen?" Will they still call every chance they get to see what our dogs are doing.....to thank us for taking out their trash.....to ask when we are going to bring they pups over again for a visit?

Soon my clients will notice. They may already know I am a lesbian, they may not. What will they ask and how much will I share? Will they join me in my excitement? Or will I lose a client to homophobia?

For anyone in my life who has wondered, but with whom I have never actually "come out," my pregnancy could either strengthen our relationships ~or~ be what breaks it apart. Their choice.

To laugh - or not?

To a gay person at first glance, these are funny. But should we be laughing?

• If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in sick to work: "Hello. Can't work today, still queer." ~ Robin Tyler
• I'd rather be black than gay because when you're black you don't have to tell your mother. ~ Charles Pierce
• "Dear Abby," In response to a reader who complained that a gay couple was moving in across the street and wanted to know what he could do to improve the quality of the neighborhood. She replied, 'You could move.' ~ Abigail Van Buren.
• The one bonus of not lifting the ban on gays in the military is that the next time the government mandates a draft, we can all declare we are homosexual instead of running off to Canada. ~ Lorne Bloch
• Why can't they have gay people in the army? Personally, I think they are just afraid of a thousand guys with M16s going, "Who'd you call a faggot?" ~ Jon Stewart
• My lesbianism is an act of Christian charity. All those women out there praying for a man, and I'm giving them my share. ~ Rita Mae Brown
• Soldiers who are not afraid of guns, bombs, capture, torture or death say they are afraid of homosexuals. Clearly we should not be used as soldiers; we should be used as weapons. ~ Letter to the Editor, The Advocate
• You don't have to be straight to be in the military; you just have to> be able to shoot straight. ~ Barry Goldwater
• Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands? ~ Ernest Gaines
• My own belief is that there is hardly anyone whose sexual life, if it were broadcast, would not fill the world at large with surprise and horror. ~ W. Somerset Maugham
• Drag is when a man wears everything a lesbian won't. ~ Author Unknown
• If male homosexuals are called "gay," then female homosexuals should be called "ecstatic." ~ Shelly Roberts
• My mother took me to a psychiatrist when I was fifteen because she thought I was a latent homosexual. There was nothing latent about it. ~ Amanda Bearse
• It always seemed to me a bit pointless to disapprove of homosexuality. It's like disapproving of rain.... ~ Francis Maude
• The only queer people are those who don't love anybody.... ~ Rita Mae Brown
• The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision. ~ Lynn Lavner
• If Michelangelo had been straight, the Sistine Chapel would have been wallpapered. ~Robin Tyler
• Pronouns make it hard to keep our sexual orientation a secret when our co-workers ask us about our weekend. "I had a great time with... them." Great! Now they don't think you're queer - just a big slut! ~Judy Carter

NJ Couples Get Married ... Well sort of ...

Couples were finally able to legally commit to each other in NJ this week. In the wee hours of the morning on Monday, February 19, 2007, couples across the state applied for civil union licenses. Some mayors opened their doors at midnight Sunday night / Monday morning to receive the applications.

Like all applications for marriage in the state, those applying for civil unions had to wait the mandatory 72 hours before tying the knot. Couples who were previously married in another state were automatically recognized in NJ and, if they choose to have a ceremony in NJ, would not have to wait the mandatory 72 hours.

At 12:01a.m. on Thursday, February 22, 2007, in Lambertville, NJ, Beth Asaro and Joanne Schailey were joined in civil union by Mayor David DelVecchio. Other ceremonies were performed in Asbury Park and South Orange.

Not all residents, however, will be able to have a ceremony in their home town. Some mayors are refusing to perform the ceremonies. DelVecchio, however, welcomes them. He has received applications from at least 25 couples from municipalities outside of Lambertville. Applications for licenses have also been received in Bernards, Clinton Town, Clinton Township, Collingswood, Hillsborough, Raritan Borough, Readington and South Plainfield.

Other states have similar laws legalizing same-sex unions. Like New Jersey, Connecticut and Vermont have civil unions, California has legalized domestic partnership, and only one state, Massachusetts, gives same-sex couples the right to marry.

While civil unions give same-sex couples many of the same rights as heterosexual couples, it still doesn't give couples all of the same rights. Among the many rights now conferred to same-sex couples, civil union provides couples the right to adopt, child custody rights, visitation of a partner who is hospitalized, the ability to make medical decisions and the same access to health insurance coverage employers offer spouses of employees. Partners who have been joined in civil union now also have the right not to testify against their partner in court. But because the federal government and most states do not recognize same-sex unions, partners are not able to receive Social Security benefits.

New Jersey will allow non-residents to apply for civil union licenses. However, if couples return to their home state where the unions are not recognized, they will not receive the benefits of the union.

Evil Is ....

Heard an interesting quote today ....

Evil is not a Cultural Condition ... it's a Human Condition.

Discrimination is ....

people who think they have a say over what other people do

people who want to deny rights from other people ... because they can't think about anything but themselves ... their "beliefs" ... their supposed "morals" ... their delusions

people who LIE about other people just because they think they're better than other people because all they can think about is themselves (see above)

people who think THEY make the rules ... when really it's just their delusion talking

people who lie TO other people to put people down ... control them ... take rights away from them ... humiliate them ... desecrate them ... because all they can think about is themselves (again, see above)

people who think it's actually OK to have different rules depending on who/what you are ... simply because they decided they can make the rules regardless of anyone else because they can only think about themselves (never mind, you know to see above)

people who lie to themselves ... others ... the world ... and cheat themselves ... others ... the world ... in order to get around the system (yes, we know you do ... and we can prove it ;) - feeling a little ... paranoid? "just because you're paranoid doesn't mean ...")

change is inevitable. change sucks. but without it we end up ignorant, anger-filled bigots who think the world exists to revolve around us.

move on people. please. welcome to reality.