Opus Comic - Davie Dinkle has Two Moms

Berkeley Breathed's nationally sindicated comic strip, OPUS, is causing quite a controversy amongst various advocacy groups.

The strip depicts two young boys talking about Davie Dinkle, a third grader, who has two moms. One of the boys questions how Davie will fare with no male role models in the home as one of the boys' father throws the tv out the window, yelling and screaming at the baseball game he's been watching, as the tv smashes on the porch next to the boys.

The strip's message that fathers are essentially useless in raising children, at least this is how the Father's Rights Movement has interpreted the strip, has prompted some heated debate on the subject. Another view of this portrayal of a father figure could be the presence of a father in the home is not such a big loss.

But either way, the emphasis of a lesbian family raising children seems to have gotten lost.

Father's Rights Groups and other advocates sympathetic to fathers are criticizing the strip's message that fathers are useless in raising children.

Gay Rights Advocates are promoting the strip's message that lesbian families are raising children and criticizing the focus the strip seems to have taken - the status of fathers in childrearing.

And the Religious Right is just flat out bashing the concept of gay parenting.

Those of us who raise children in the context of lesbian and gay households know that children raised in a loving home with appropriate boundaries and limits, with teachings including right from wrong among other things, and teachings lacking hate and discrimination among other things, are environments where children thrive.

Similarly, we know that just because our children are raised by two moms or two dads, doesn't mean there aren't strong male or female role models in our childrens' lives.

We also know that there are entirely too many variables to say that any single family constellation, any single parenting style, and single educational environment, and single (you choose) is *the* best environment for any or every child.

Here's the part that's confusing. Why is it a bad thing when two people want to raise a child together. Or, alternatively, why should a parent / parent figure be excluded from a child's life simply because someone wants to exclude them?

This comic strip depicts a reality for some children - some families have two moms; some families have fathers who watch sports, drink beer, smoke cigars and get angry at the tv. Sure, this strip puts fathers in a negative light as every other group of people, minority or otherwise, has been shed in some negative light at some other point in time. That's not to say any of these depictions are correct, or that any of these groups *should* be depicted in a negative light ... it's just a reality.

Is it a reality that fathers often get shafted? Absolutely. Fathers are typically depicted as uninvolved or absent. They generally end up marginalized in their child's lives, even when they want quite the opposite.

No matter whether you think this strip is funny, or you hate it, or you don't really care one way or another, there are collective truths this controversy seems to be ignoring:

• Some children live in homes where fathers are present and uninvolved.
• Some children live in homes where mothers are present and uninvolved.
• Some children live in homes where fathers are present and involved.
• Some children live in homes where mothers are present and involved.
• Some children live in homes where fathers are absent.
• Some children live in homes where mothers are absent.
• Some children live with two moms.
• Some children live with two dads.
• Some children live with numerous family members.
• Some children live with no parents at all.
• Some children live in environments where there is no love.
• Some children live in environments where there is an abundance of love.
• Some children live in environments where [you fill in the blank]. (Quite honestly this list could go on endlessly, which happens to be the point ....)

The point of the controversy shouldn't be about who the strip is focused on; or who is being portrayed as good or evil. Or who is "better" able to raise children.

There are entirely too many variables affecting the outcome of childrearing to generalize and point to one variable as *the* reason children are or are not successful in life.

Some children grow up to be productive members of society - happy and healthy - whether that is attributable to their home environment, some outside influence, or a combination of the two.

Some children grow up miserable, unproductive and unhappy - whether attributable to their home environment, some outside influence, or a combination of the two.

What is glaringly missing in all the focus on whether someone is being slighted or someone else is being portrayed in a positive light, is a focus on obliterating the anger and hatred so prevalent in our society.

Children don't need to be taught to hate.

Children need to learn acceptance.

People need to learn acceptance.

Until we as a society learn to accept people for who they are, and accept that people are different from us and may have different ideas and opinions, comics and similar messages such as this OPUS strip will continue to be disseminated. People will continue to fight over comics and similar messages such as this. And things will remain the same.